I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
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he fucked my hip out of place.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
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I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
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