id be glad to
Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
Randomize
