Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(818): View more from California

actually, I'm a sock model

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(910): View more from North Carolina

I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.

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(512): View more from Texas

If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.

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(707): View more from California

frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.

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(908): View more from New Jersey

I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning

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(616): View more from Michigan

But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives

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(914): View more from New York

I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken

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(503): View more from Oregon

I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.

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(513): View more from Ohio

He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not

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