break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
Randomize
