I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
