how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
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