i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
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