even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
