Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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