Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
