he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
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