We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
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