hell yes lets make some ravioli
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
Randomize
