WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
he was CRYING into my vagina
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
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