Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
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