I want to stick my p in your. b.
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
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