"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
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