guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
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