When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
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