U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
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