Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
Randomize
