Cold hands, warm shart.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
