im having a threesome with these popsicles
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
I said "one day" and that day is not today
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Randomize
