Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
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