The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
Randomize
