I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
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