Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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