Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
Randomize
