dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
Randomize
