How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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