I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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