That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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