its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
Randomize
