I can't watch pbs sober anymore
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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