Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
Randomize
