i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
