yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
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Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
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Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
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