my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
Randomize
