i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
