you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize