Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
I don't deserve a penis
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Randomize
