Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
It's not a walk of shame if you run
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
