You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
Randomize
