The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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