Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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