I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Randomize
