What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize
