just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Randomize
