Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
