Texts From Last Night

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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.

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  (203): I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you. http://tfl.nu/ig1m
  Replies (8) Good night (1502) Bad night (685)
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  Dude, you need to talk to your mom

  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  wtf?

  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you

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  (412): Dude, you need to talk to your mom (724): wtf? (412): She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you http://tfl.nu/71sh
  Replies (32) Good night (748) Bad night (4619)
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  (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.

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  (403): you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned. http://tfl.nu/4rjg
  Replies (14) Good night (3700) Bad night (696)
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  (331): View more from Illinois

  You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.

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  (331): You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open. http://tfl.nu/k0dm
  Replies (13) Good night (5543) Bad night (1295)
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  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet

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  (508): I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet http://tfl.nu/ryzv
  Replies (19) Good night (4704) Bad night (536)
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  (206): View more from Washington

  Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.

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  (206): Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though. http://tfl.nu/6g66
  Replies (27) Good night (1863) Bad night (5667)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat

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  (303): You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat http://tfl.nu/m0wi
  Replies (11) Good night (4329) Bad night (1455)
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  (614): View more from Ohio

  Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.

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  (614): Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok. http://tfl.nu/bya3
  Replies (6) Good night (1679) Bad night (766)
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  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.

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  (832): My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over. http://tfl.nu/z5ao
  Replies (9) Good night (3793) Bad night (733)
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  (336): View more from North Carolina

  after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.

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  (336): after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be. http://tfl.nu/g4eu
  Replies (3) Good night (1589) Bad night (541)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  She's just so happy...and so naked.

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  (303): She's just so happy...and so naked. http://tfl.nu/5upc
  Replies (3) Good night (2856) Bad night (539)
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  (304): View more from West Virginia

  She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?

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  (304): She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life? http://tfl.nu/58z3
  Replies (12) Good night (2182) Bad night (467)
• Favorite

  (519): View more from Ontario

  Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out

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  (519): Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out http://tfl.nu/ezsq
  Replies (18) Good night (2275) Bad night (520)
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  (760): View more from California

  I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart

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  (760): I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart http://tfl.nu/0amr
  Replies (7) Good night (976) Bad night (472)
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  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?

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  (570): I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night? http://tfl.nu/4cua
  Replies (1) Good night (578) Bad night (213)

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