Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.