Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Randomize