i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
27 Of The Most NSFW Life Hacks
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
23 Disturbing Small-Town Horror Stories
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
Randomize
