How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
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He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
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The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?