Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Randomize
