Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(214): View more from Texas

I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse

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(214): I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse http://tfl.nu/kj9n

Replies (8) Good night (633) Bad night (2246)
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(413): View more from Massachusetts

Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo

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(413): Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo http://tfl.nu/r8i0

Replies (9) Good night (877) Bad night (2478)
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(248): View more from Michigan

i just identified you from a description of your pipe

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(248): i just identified you from a description of your pipe http://tfl.nu/awfe

Replies (13) Good night (5260) Bad night (837)
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(401): View more from Rhode Island

Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song

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(401): Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song http://tfl.nu/c63n

Replies (19) Good night (4967) Bad night (1477)
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(860): View more from Connecticut

at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"

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(860): at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!" http://tfl.nu/hob5

Replies (12) Good night (5710) Bad night (1339)
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(314): View more from Missouri

WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT

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(314): WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT http://tfl.nu/lhuy

Replies (3) Good night (2471) Bad night (1059)
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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.

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(215): the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign. http://tfl.nu/j53c

Replies (7) Good night (3294) Bad night (810)
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(713): View more from Texas

There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special

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(713): There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special http://tfl.nu/6w5y

Replies (5) Good night (1738) Bad night (631)
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(785): View more from Kansas

well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.

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(785): well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo. http://tfl.nu/3cg7

Replies (2) Good night (944) Bad night (718)
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(612): View more from Minnesota

I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.

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(612): I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck. http://tfl.nu/k122

Replies (5) Good night (812) Bad night (430)
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(423): View more from Tennessee

We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.

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(423): We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off. http://tfl.nu/yele

Replies (17) Good night (3223) Bad night (521)
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(202): View more from Washington, DC

As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.

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(202): As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap. http://tfl.nu/n79z

Replies (19) Good night (1478) Bad night (490)
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(615): View more from Tennessee

If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...

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(615): If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well... http://tfl.nu/i7xy

Replies (4) Good night (987) Bad night (520)
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(425): View more from Washington

Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.

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(425): Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting. http://tfl.nu/at9f

Replies (5) Good night (830) Bad night (248)
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(320): View more from Minnesota

I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.

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(320): I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy. http://tfl.nu/3vch

Replies (0) Good night (340) Bad night (78)

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