That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
