I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
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