Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
Randomize
