The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
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