Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
Randomize
