In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
The power of my boobs compel you
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Randomize
