I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
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