Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
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