thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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