I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
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