I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
Rumble strips road head = magical
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
Randomize
